why cheap make-up turns orange throughout the course of a day.
why seven jeans makes crappy jeans to sell at Kohls.
why people even buy clothes at Kohls.
why cheap nail salons lie about 'gel' nails.
why people fall in love.
why more child beatings can be seen in a single trip to wal-mart than in a whole week of Lifetime TV.
why How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days never gets old.
why The Biggest Loser only makes me want to eat massive amounts of ice cream.
why Nevada has the bluest skies.
why people think the iPad is cool. It's not. I promise.
why the sun seems to bleach my skin.
why people name there kids strange names...like Karemily...or Ashlisa.... gag me.
why burgers from a grill taste SO good.
why frozen yogurt is "good" for me.
why fashion is fashionable.
why some colors are prettier than others.
why all flip-flops are not created equally.
why shape-ups are so popular. They are hideous. No matter how tone you get, they will still make you look ugly.
why there are measurements on the doors of mini-marts...if someone steals something, their height is not going to be a very telling characteristic.
why McDonald's doesn't sell hot dogs.
why "real mayonaise" must include the word "real."
why carnival ride operators have, on average, 3 teeth.
why pizza is pretty much the only deliverable food.
why Mexican's put sound systems in their cars that are worth 3x more than the car.
why some things never go out of style.
why Tiger Woods cheated on his wife, like 100 times.
why anyone cheats.
why men and women are starting to dress alike... do you see it?
why beer is cheaper than water in China.
why teddy bears are so cute, but real bears eat people.
why money is represented by paper checks and invisible electronic transfers.
why Southwest Airlines doesn't give out honey roasted peanuts anymore.
why cats are't extinct, when they all seem to hate each other.
why bread is square but sandwich meat is round.
why instructions for a water evacuation are given on flights rather than land evacuations.
why I can have 2 fish, but not 2 cat.
why Donny Osmond is married, and not to me.
I have some!
ReplyDeletewhy Black people's voices sound distinctive no matter how correct their speech is.
why the show 16 and Pregnant is so addicting.
why people think they can get away with killing their spouses.
why some of my customers at Olive Garden think it's okay to tip me 3%.
why honey roasted princess is such an appropriate name for an overly tan and made-up girl.
why some people leave the house wearing the things they wear.
why some people get it and some just don't.
why people get ugly tattoos.
okay, all done. peace out.
Love it and definitely made me think. Is there going to be an answer portion to this blog?
ReplyDeleteFYI- if you come to Dominica with Dave you will have a LOT more of these "whys" BUT you will note that every food under the sun is delivered here and people have sound systems that are worth more than their homes and beer is cheaper than soda :)
ReplyDeleteKohl's is gross. Shape Ups look like midget platform shoes. Chinese is deliverable, but increases your chance of food poisoning or funny tummy by 94%. Fact. Real mayo...how about "Now made with 100% real chicken". Opposed to...Southwest Airlines is in a recession. Forget about the honey roasted.
ReplyDeletethe ipad is cool. i was a doubter before i played with one. i want one for sure. good blog, i miss you
ReplyDeleteYou are so Funny! I am wondering if all of those thoughts are original Elizabeth thoughts?! That was very entertaining to read! I think you must be one of the coolest people I know!!! And I know alot of people!! :)
ReplyDelete